Winter Reflections

I woke this morning to a light dusting of snow on the ground.  It was nice to see all the animals huddled together for a bit of warmth and the few plants Charlie and Butterbean didn't manage to ravage in the garden were a bright spot of green.  It seems winter is showing itself in NC again.. Although I'm sure it will be back up to 70 in a day or so! 
Winter offers up a lot of time to nest.  Time to plan for the seasons to come, time to ready the ground, and to clean out old piles. Those days, like today, when it's too cold to do anything productive, are good ones for reflection.. what went wrong, what should be repeated?  What can be improved? 
I've had a lot of changes happen in the last few months.  My brother moved out, my boyfriend moved on to other things, and I've been spending a lot of time alone.  This can be both a positive and a negative.  I have admitted before, and will again, that it scares the shit out of me to have this much land and this many dreams in my head without someone here to help when I need to lift the other side of something too heavy.  I often question what exactly it is that I'm doing, and if I should even try for something more.  Maybe it would be more practical to live in a little house in town with a small garden and two chickens again?  Maybe that wouldn't be as scary?  But then I wake up and walk my property on a cold day like today and I stop to count my blessings.  I'm fortunate to have found a little piece of Earth to call mine.  I'm lucky to have the room to dream big, to build and create, to turn this place into my own little fairytale.  I see asparagus shoots peeking out, bluebirds readying the new nesting box, snow on the ground, and can't help but smile.